The search of the divine and when to stop seeking? (I'm back podcasting...)

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One of my readers, Jerôme, a philosopher, emailed me to reflect on my “search of the divine”.

Jerôme wants me to think about “over feeding” without taking enough time to think about the sessions and also giving more time to the participants to think about them or network among themselves, this is a very valid comment and I agree with it.

If we sit under a heavy water fall, no matter how pure and abundant the water is it will be impossible to drink every drop of it…

It reminds me of my friend Robert Scoble who told me recently he was trying to read every single update from every source talking about AI, even though it’s just impossible. He wants to know everything about AI and be the source for everything new coming out about it on his Twitter feed, which is somewhat crazy, maybe an only an AI can do that. Even if an AI could do that, what would be the point since no human being can consume so much information. It could summarize it for us, at best, but it feels there is no point.

I feel this way sometimes. I definitely work hard on discovering the most meaningful forms of spirituality or spiritual experiences and have been through quite a number of them. I find balance between new experiences and going really deep in two of them that I have been practicing for many years (you know if you read me, the Yawanawà spirituality and the Red Road).

Deep medicinal plant bath given by my friend Tuikuru Yawa

When I deeply resonate with one of them, I open a new chapter and climb another holly mountain (cover photo). Meeting Choeze Rinpoche definitely gave me that feeling of opening a new path as I have been very impressed by his words and how he lives his life. Should I?

I have been thinking constantly about this. Go deep on one path as I have done for about 6 years with the Yawas or multiply the experiences. I could just learn all my life and many more lives just the Yawanawà spirituality, same with Lakota, Maya or Buddhism. It’s obviously impossible to learn all.

Matsini, a Yawanawà master told me once “if you learn different spiritualities at the same time you are going to be confused and achieve nothing”, so I followed that advice and I now reached a point thanks to this advice that I am able to perform a few rituals of their spirituality obviously with less experience than they have as they started when they were 5 years old and only do that their whole life.

Learning to sing and play guitar in the Amazon jungle

I’m back to the thoughts about “lineage”. I have no lineage. I could decide to be 100% of one lineage and learn just that, I did, for a while.

I feel that our generation might need something different though. The lineage of freedom seems like the way to follow. Achieve and learn “enough” from spiritualities that are worth learning from and it’s a personal choice.

For example for me, it might be just enough to learn some mantras and meditate daily without having to turn myself into a full time monk for a few years in Bhutan… It’s actually the recommendation of Choeze but that was also my own feeling about it.

There is a reason why I was born in Europe and not in the jungle or in a monastery…

It comes down to “when will I decide to stop seeking?” and “why do I keep seeking” or “What do I keep seeking?”

I feel like I have been following three major steps:

1. healing (took about 1.5 years)

2. reconnection to nature and becoming a student of it

3. constant learning of different techniques

Why do I keep wanting to upgrade myself and for what? The answer is quite clear to me.

First I am upgrading myself to be able to help others more.

Everything I do or close to that is now for others. The conference PAUA is definitely a work for others.

Second, I want to know “enough” some of the most powerful ancestral technologies and initiations the world has kept alive. I honestly don’t know what I am preparing myself for, I am just learning always more.

Apart from learning more from Buddhism there are two initiations that I will likely do after observing strictly the Yawanawà spirituality for years. I have up to now only been working and learning from very few plants and practices that were allowed during my many “dietas” processes.

Will I ever stop seeking?

There is a difference between “seeking for seeking” and just “learning”. In other words my goal is to acquire rare knowledge available to us but that most people will never do. My motivation isn’t to do things that others don’t do. My motivation is to always learn more to help others more. One might argue that I don’t need to know more to help more, but that’s just what my guts are telling me to do and I tend to follow that how I make decisions now, much more than what anyone tells me to do or not...

Will I ever consider I know enough?

I do not think so, for me life has been a constant teaching since I was born. I have never been feeling that I knew enough. The question has never been if I should learn more (yes!) but what to learn next.

In the first 25 years of my life I learned what I consider enough about the business, entrepreneurial and technology world. I don’t know everything, but it’s enough.

I am now balancing it with another 25 years learning consciousness and spirituality tools. I’m only 10 years in so maybe when I am 70 years old I will consider myself balanced enough, time will tell :-) I leave every possibility open.

Who knows how the world will evolve in the next years to come? If you had told me I would have changed so dramatically at 45 years old I would have not believed you.

Here is a topic I will write about soon also brought by Jerôme:

Must we suffer to realize our self?