I would like to share today some thoughts from another fantastic call I had with Greg, the guide who doesn’t exist online or anywhere else in books etc. He is completely hidden and I am fortunate enough to participate in a group call every week with him.
Greg described the steps of self-transformation, or creation. I adapted some of it to my own experience. This is a longer post than usual.
Step 1. Interest in changing yourself
No self-transformation process starts, at least for me, without first an “interest to change”. Some people just don’t want to change and aren’t interested in changing or seeking “awakening”.
My deeper transformation started when I divorced 10 years ago, I just did not like myself but I won’t go to the details on this post, focusing on the process.
Step 2: Trigger
What gets you finally decided to start a transformation process.
For example, getting in a bad argument with a friend while having a glass of alcohol too much gets you decided: “Enough, I will just stop entirely”
Curiosity could also be the trigger, I got curious about meditation or what connecting to plants means as I had friends talking to me about it.
Step 3: Determination
This is when you decide to really do it and start changing yourself.
Examples: “That’s it I stop drinking today” or for meditation “I want to live with less stress, I am going to meditate every day”
This is the easiest - it is the beginning, we decided. We are excited and feel confident. Novelty of trying something new is exciting.
Step 4: Gestation
It gets tough after a few days or weeks. You might forget the initial trigger or determination…
Most people fail here.
Examples: “I can have just a glass of wine it’s okay it won’t do anything” (of course it’s okay… right?), or “Meditation doesn’t do anything, it’s a waste of time”
The old patterns come back. There is no excitement anymore. Social pressure makes it obvious that after all, I should have a beer as all my friends do or not meditate.
Cultural conditioning and our ego bring us back to our old self, the process stops.
Step 5. Growth stage
We start to see some results, we feel better, we are proud of ourselves for crossing the Gestation stage and holding our initial intention.
New thoughts, information, opportunities or resources show-up. New dreams (for me stopping alcohol has unlocked a very powerful and pleasant lucid dream life most days). Things can happen in business life or a better relationship with family and friends.
What you are working on begins to now be obviously the right thing to do.
A very important point is to realize that the good things are coming because “I” decided it, not from the outside.
I am causing those good changes myself.
Step 6. Outcome
Good events happen now regularly, synchronicities. No efforts or very few efforts necessary now. It became part of our “normal” habits as we don’t think about how to drive the car when we drive, we just drive. It became part of our default mode network.
Things that come daily are so good and natural that we can move to working on something else, inspire others to do the same as they also see the results in you or teach it depending on where we are and if we are interested in that.
Tip: doing the transformation work in a community versus alone
I found it invaluable when I did my first 10 day vipassana meditation retreat and other retreats. Everyone suddenly wakes-up at 5am and meditates so it makes it easy to do it.
We started the 90-day meditation challenge in our community online on discord, I think it helps everyone cross the Gestation stage where most people fail. It is group motivation.
We don’t wake up at 5am on discord but everyone in the community can see how others are meditating every day, this creates a confidence as others are in the same process, want to achieve a change and find it valuable.
This is one way to cross the gestation stage, doing it surrounded by others doing the same or talking about the same “challenge” and new habit. The other is to keep the warrior strength and determination.
This process is also the creation process of anything, a new startup, a new product…
I will now go deeper with my own experience, what I learned as well as some more thoughts, teachings and tips with my paid subscribers. The smaller group that is formed by those subscribers makes it easier for me to share more intimate stories.